Dorian Gray- Phase Three

So yesterday I went to get some pre-cancers taken off my face with a process called Photo Dynamic Therapy- the side benefits being it also gets rid of fine wrinkles and tiny veins as well as sunspots. It shrinks pores and gives you smoother, younger looking skin.

That last line in the brochure got me hooked.

The catch is, the treatment takes hours- the laser that zaps you is described as giving you moderate to severe pain. (more like a rubber band snap on your face) AND, the next day you have to stay indoors, with all curtains drawn and completely avoid sunlight.

So here I sit, like Miss Havisham, waiting for the sun to go down so I can get outside.

Overall, the process isn't so bad. The pic, from the next morning has me a little red- much like a sunburn- and the spots darker where I got zapped.

And that was phase three- phase two was the cut and color I got from Rex Salon earlier this week. Below is the next day photo- and the picture of me hidden in the attic!

Hilarious new blog

Got a comment from the creator of "Famous Like Me"- so I checked out his site. He's got mug shots of guys in Boise. And some of them...are cute. Some of them...are not. Still, a brilliant idea. And good reading. Click on the link to the right and check it out.

The day after

So the Restalyne was successful. It was a freaky, kind of frightening process. I kept thinking "what if this goes horribly wrong?" Dr. Keel at MDSpa in La Jolla was reassuring. And he's done this 100s of times- if not more. He numbed up my face- and then injected the Restalyne. And then he massaged it in. The whole process took twenty minutes.

I was a little sore for about 14 hours- iced the face every few hours, but I'm pretty happy with the results.

Below are pictures of before, 15 minutes afterwards and the day after. The puppet lines are gone.

And as I was sitting on the front porch- looking out at the sun over the ocean, painting my big toenail navy blue. Yes, blue.

I thought- "Jesus, am I in a midlife crisis?"
Am I J. Alfred Prufrock? I reread the T.S. Eliot poem- and posted a bit below.


No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.

I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.



Prufrock is despondent- resigned.

I am not.
And thus the blue toe nail.
I do believe the mermaids will sing to me.

Gay men and the culture of youth

Having a son has its benefits...having a gay son is even better. When we're out together, he can help seal the deal. A gay father and son is a great conversation starter with strangers. He's fun, energetic- and he pushes me to have fun too.

But having a child does have its drawbacks. He's a timepiece. Brody's 23. Most people do the math and realize I'm in my upper 40's- zeroing in on 50. There's no hedging.

And in this gay world, that doesn't play. Look at all the gay rags- they celebrate youth and looking young and playing young. It's messed up. It also doesn't help that I work in the entertainment business- a double whammy. There's no selling a show to MTV if you don't have that "youthful vibe."

And it's not that I want to date 26 year olds- although I did have two dates last week with guys in their twenties. It's a drag thinking they were born when I was graduating from college. Nice guys, both of them...

The thing is, aging doesn't suck. Looking older does.

I can't tell you how many of my friends wash the gray out of their hair. Last night in the gym, I was noticing how dull my hair looked and realized it was because of the gray. I used to "low light"- to get rid of some of the gray, but it's a pain in the ass- and takes forever- it's half a day at the salon. So should I get the gray out my temples?

We dress young- I've got the low riding jeans- the cool shirts. Then again, Brody was looking at some pictures from a recent party and noted how all the old guys were wearing bright colored wild shirts.

My best friend Gary and I joke all the time about getting "work" done- He wants to get rid of the bags under his eyes- I want to get rid of the wrinkles.

And so when I looked in the mirror the other day- I decided the time has come.

I'm going to try Restalyne- and get rid of the puppet lines on the sides of my mouth. It only lasts for four months...and if it works, great.



I don't think I'm trying to fool anyone else- just the guy in the mirror.