Brody and me

Living Together

2011-10-10T22:15:00.000-07:00

Brody and I have been "roommates" for a year a half... well not so much roommates, as I pay the rent. In our new apartment, we each have our own wing which is a "good thing" as Martha might say. And when there are no dishes in the sink, or clothes on the floor and the toothpaste and toilet paper have not been stolen- life is good.
Actually, it's nice to come home to a friendly face who asks about my day. I still find "teachable" moments. Don't put potato skins in the disposal- it will clog the sink. A wine glass in the disposal once a year will keep the blades sharp. A double Windsor knot is in every way superior. Shined shoes are a good thing. A dinner party with good friends is a great way to spend a Sunday evening.
He teaches me- to not take everything so seriously. To sing more. To buy furniture that doesn't look like it came from my grandmother's house. Somehow he's been granted veto power over the furniture purchases. How the heck did that happen?

The Roommate

2010-12-17T22:10:00.000-08:00

Brody has been living with me since March. When he moved in, it was only going to be until July. It's almost Christmas.
The "odd couple" relationship has had it's ups and downs. Brody is 27. He can go out until 2:30 and get to work by 9am. I cannot. It would be fine if our bedrooms were at opposite ends of the apartment. They are not. So I hear him rattling the door, talking on his phone, tossing his boots on the floor. Sometimes I roll over and fall back to sleep. Sometimes I lie in bed and slowly burn. And sometimes I get up, hair wild, kimono flying and screech at him and whatever friends he has brought home for a sleep over.
I know what you're thinking... Brody, the salope. (fr) No, honestly, he and his friends are like puppies: three to the bed. Snoring, passed out, quiet...finally.
But overall, the experience has been awesome. And it has made our relationship stronger. Now if he'd only clean up his room!

Paris again...

2010-02-21T18:52:00.000-08:00

So Brody and I went to Paris for Christmas. We were joined by Zack...a good, longtime friend of Brody's (and mine.) Had the best time ever...dancing to all hours at Le Cud.
Meeting cute boys...enjoying the city. In the cab back to the airport, Brody and I were seriously depressed. I love Paris. I want to move there.
Time to make a plan.

Travelling men

2009-12-05T17:33:00.000-08:00

In our search for the perfect holiday, Brody and I flew off to Oahu for Thanksgiving. 5 days of fun in the sun...4 nights of staying out WAY too late on vodka and red bull. I generally bagged at 2am...and stumbled back to the Royal Hawaiian while he tormented the locals at the after hours bar.

Good food, good sun, good times. Great shopping. And thus the dilemma: Brody found a great hat from Kate Spade....

and then his favorite shoes from Louis Vuitton.

What's a boy to do? What will Santa bring? Brody, his mom and I are having dinner in NYC on Wednesday to celebrate an early Christmas...and then he and I are off to Paris for New Years! Joyeux Noël everyone!!!!

Whitney

2009-09-10T18:36:00.001-07:00

She looks fantastic!

OR
http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid35531051001?bctid=38467229001

A nice post about our new show-

2009-08-21T15:05:00.001-07:00

Wedlock or Deadlock is going for a second six week test- This is a great behind the scenes video.

Wedlock or Deadlock Highlight from GEBBS on Vimeo.

Three guys...

2009-08-11T21:34:00.000-07:00

Recently went to a birthday party for my good friend Jeff Robinson...who, btw, is an amazing artist. If you've been to my house, you've seen the giant red and white striped shirt...which was painted by Jeff. The real red and white shirt coincindentally belonged to another good friend: Fred Nelson- on whom I've had a crush for many years...but he lives in NY. Anyway...Jeff's wife Courtney is a good friend (Mary Poppins for the New Millenium). She's in business with Fred.
Courtney's brother, Tuc, is an actor...and can currently be seen on Desperate Housewives. He can also be seen in this picture. I recently asked him to be on "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?" where he proved to be smarter than a fourth grader, which is a good thing.
Lee, the other man in the photo, posing center, is a good friend of Courtney and Jeff's. Lee is also a good friend of Liz Warner. She is an incredibly talented writer- and is the announcer on my show "Wedlock or Deadlock." I shared a taxi with Lee in NY once...and now, I share a photo.
All good people. And all, very intertwined.

Calling all Nielsen households!

2009-08-11T21:12:00.000-07:00

Three more weeks left on the summer test for Wedlock or Deadlock and if you're in NY, Philly, Atlanta, Memphis, Orlando, Tampa or Phoenix, please tune in to check this show out. Go to WedlockorDeadlock.com to check listings. And THANKS!!!

Oh for the love of God!!!

2009-08-11T21:03:00.001-07:00

Is it any wonder why we're obsessed with youth? Ridiculous! An easy way to torment Brody is to point out someone like this young man and say that I would give him everything. And yes, I mean everything, Brody's inheritance included!
Of course this guys falls into the Brody rule...some random rule he made up saying I can't date anyone younger than him.
Here's hoping this fellow is 27!

more more more music

2009-08-05T23:52:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows Brody...knows that he is perpetually singing...and has done so since was very small. My favorite picture of him has him walking down the beach in Maui at the age of 10 just happy and singing.
This isn't Brody...but it is fun...and a little gay.

Banana-fucking-rama!

2009-08-05T23:19:00.000-07:00

Talk about flashbacks. Cool new song...and video. LOVE IT!!!

MIKA!!!! Love him

2009-07-31T23:44:00.001-07:00

There is something wonderful about being so alive.

Our new show: Wedlock or Deadlock

2009-07-20T12:43:00.001-07:00

I'm overseeing a new show that's being tested this summer on some of the Fox O and O stations. It's called Wedlock or Deadlock and will air in NY, Philadelphia, Atlanta, Phoenix, Memphis, Orlando and Tampa. Please check it out and spread the word.

OMG- has it been that long?

2009-07-08T22:14:00.000-07:00

Brody turned 26...and I turned, gulp, 50. Could that be right? Three trips to NY and two trips to Hawaii. And both of us working like dogs.
Brody had an amazing 'House of Campari' in June.
I shot a test series- and am in edit hell.
New pics coming...but first, ran across this awesome choir from Slovenia. (I know, I know. Leave your comments at the door.) Enjoy.

via videosift.com

Exes

2009-02-08T14:00:00.000-08:00

So we went to Paris for New Years again this year...and by "we" I mean- Brody and me- and Brigid, his mom, my "ex" wife, Jeremy, my ex-lover and Paul, his current husband and Zack, Brody's friend "ex-whatever." And it was this New Year's that I realized that none of these people are exes...they are people who are very much involved in our daily lives. They are the legs of our life table.
This became even more apparent this month, when I was hospitalized and had to undergo surgery on my esophagus.
Brody was there every day. Paul and Jeremy constantly dropped by and called and emailed. Zack sent lovely flowers and a new robe. Brigid called both me and Brody for constant updates and to provide support.
Our families are the ones we create- and I'm blessed to have created an amazing one.

World AIDS Day is Monday, December 1

2008-11-27T21:42:00.000-08:00

Over 55,000 people in the United States were infected with HIV this year. Brody and I know and love two of them. My heart is broken.

1. Use a condom
2. If you haven't been tested recently...get tested. Knowledge is power.
3. If you know you're positive, get treatment. See a doctor regularly and take your medication.

Unbeknownst to everyone, another friend of mine stopped taking his meds...and died last week.

Take care of yourself. Do it for you...and for those who love you.

Chi Chi La Rue and Mother Teresa

2008-11-16T19:30:00.001-08:00

So Joshua, Brody, Frank and I did a little marching at the rally this past Saturday- to lend our voices to the repeal on "Yes on 8." Brody and Joshua are passionate about our rights- and led the crowd in chants as we marched. As it was hot, we ducked into a bar for a quick beer...and then once the rally was over, into a restaurant...where our discussion turned to 'Chi Chi La Rue' and her party that was to be held that night. Both guys held ChiChi up to be the model citizen- heavily involved in promoting safer sex. I applaud her for that.
On the other hand, I do not think she is someone Brody should be modeling his life on. I suggested Mother Teresa instead.
Brody: "You know Mother Teresa wasn't all she was cracked up to be. Apparently, she could be a real bitch."
Me: "You're kidding me, right? You can actually sit there and compare the two?"
Joshua: "ChiChi is fabulous. She owns her own business and makes tons of money.
Me: "Mother Teresa worked for a higher purpose."
Brody: "ChiChi works for a higher purpose...she makes people happy."
Now I suppose I don't have much of a leg to stand on...As Brody charitably pointed out, I've spent my life producing game shows and reality shows and now work for Fox. It's hardly a noble career- but Mother Teresa....come on. She's the model. She's what we should all be striving for."
Here we'd spent a few hours...working for a more noble purpose: equal rights, which suggests a strong moral compass on their part, and yet, they equate a pornographer life's work with that of a saint.
KIDS!!!!
So later that night, the conversation still rankled. I texted Brody: Art is a higher purpose than commerce.
He replied back: Wtf?
Me: A follow up to today's conversation.
Brody: Ur so gay.

Just a few days more

2008-10-29T17:50:00.001-07:00

I have found myself becoming more involved, more political, more impassioned than ever before. Perhaps it is because of the promise of something better. That our better selves will win out this time. That all the hard work will make a difference- that we can make a difference.

Register to Vote...or no more Brody and Me

2008-10-04T23:24:00.001-07:00

Long time no talk

2008-09-29T12:24:00.000-07:00

So here's a pic from Brody's birthday back in May. Good times. And then we fought for a month. Typical 16 year old girl- text bitch fight. Perfect, huh? You would think we would have avoided that- being grown up and all. But no.
And then the summer was swallowed up by work and my frustration with him and a terrible ulcer. So I went off to Italy, took the cure in Capri and Positano and lit a candle in a church in Rome. And now, I'm back.
Finally feel like myself again.

Come on People!!!!!

2008-09-29T12:22:00.000-07:00

The fact that some people in the United States actually look at Sarah Palin and honestly think she is qualified to be Vice President or GOD FORBID- President, stuns me.

Brody and the boys

2008-04-15T17:17:00.000-07:00

I love Brody and his posse. They're always a good time- either up at the house- or out at the bar...

Unfortunately, going to the same bar as your son has its problems. As much as I love him, he's a horrible "cock block."

A few weeks ago we were at Here- and a nice young man had turned his attentions on me. Brody watched from afar and then decided to strike. He walked up to this young man and asked "Excuse me, are you a prostitute?" The boy was non-plussed. He said, "What?"
Brody continued, "Are you a hooker"
The young man was stunned...and stammered out a "No. Why?"
Brody responded, "All my friends and I thought you might be, the way you were hanging on my dad."
Brody turned on his heels and disappeared into the crowd.
The boy sheepishly turned and disappeared as well...leaving me with my vodka tonic.

Kids. Ugh.

Stuff that makes me happy

2008-04-01T11:42:00.000-07:00

This is frickin' hysterical

2008-02-26T16:59:00.003-08:00

Christmas and New Year's Eve in Paris

2008-02-04T15:46:00.000-08:00

We had an awesome time- although way too short. Brody had his best friend Zack there- and I flew five other family members over including Brody's mom. A perfect New Year's Eve on a bridge over the Seine.

Lots to say and do

2008-02-04T15:44:00.001-08:00

This is the show I supervised for MyNetworkTV. It premieres tonight. Evil, sexy and fun.

I know...I know

2008-01-27T01:49:00.000-08:00

I'm lame for not posting....
enjoy.

Aloha y'all

2007-11-29T11:04:00.000-08:00

Yes, Hawaii was amazing. Brody and I soaked up the sun at Queen's Beach on Waikiki and played til late at the boy bars...

The overall conversation was who was cock-blocking whom....

Brody thinks that everyone sees him as a prostitute hanging out with his sugar daddy.

I think everyone sees me as a predatory old man with his hooks into chicken.

Neither a flattering portrait...

So the hell with them all! And a lovely mahalo to you as well.

Glamour

2007-11-11T21:36:00.000-08:00

Brody at Halloween....

while I was home...working....again.

So we're heading to Hawaii for Thanksgiving.

Because all work and no play is dull, dull, dull.

Dating the Young

2007-11-11T08:56:00.000-08:00

So Brody and I go to the Abbey last Sunday and are having some smart cocktails and I ask him how to break up with this young guy I've been seeing...well, kind of seeing...more like drive by dating. He's young. He's cute. But we have very little in common.

And Brody's giving me some good advice...and I'm thinking 'this is very odd.' I've broken up with guys before...why am I so freaked out about this one? I guess I just didn't want to hurt his feelings.

So I get a text message yesterday morning... "I love you, but I'm moving to San Francisco." My first reaction was one of relief. At least I didn't have to come up with some lame excuse of why I didn't want to date him anymore....and then I got a little incensed. "Did this guy just break up with me with a text message? THE NERVE!!!!"

Trantasia...at last

2007-10-30T22:35:00.001-07:00

Finally, the documentary I helped produce is out on DVD. Check it out. They were featured on Tyra...and have a ton of press this week. It's a wonderful, fun, heart wrenching- over the top docu-soap featuring the contestants of "The Most Beautiful Transexual Pageant" held in Las Vegas two years ago. You'll love it.

Love Love

2007-10-25T11:35:00.001-07:00

I had lunch last week with a good friend "E"- a guy I had hooked up with a few years ago...and still have a major crush on. He surprised me at one point and said he had never been truly in love. Now this guy is 40 something (like most of my friends) and his admission left me dumbfounded.

I've been lucky to have been TRULY in love a number of times- that feeling that went beyond CRUSH and into the comfortable, happy, trusting, romantic notion of love.

I still "love" those guys with whom I've had disastrous breakups- "J"- who is now the executor of my estate- and sometime godfather to Brody and "R" who I speak to often and dine with a couple of times a month. And then there's Brody's mom-

This last weekend I flew to New York for 24 hours- in honor of our 25th Anniversary. We had a great time in a beautiful hotel room with roses, champagne and a nice dinner. And she got diamonds- 25 years late. A belated thank you.

See closure- is a problem with me. Yeah, we can break up- but you're always gonna be in my life. I guess that's why I never got divorced. (Which annoys my "wife's" boyfriend to no end.)

For me- Love is never-ending. And I think it's the same way with Brody- It's a romantic notion. And a good one.

Each of those people has made my life a wonderful thing.

We are all blessed with that capacity to love. Even my friend "E" who has never been "in love"- believes that he will be- one day.

And so I'm grateful for those I have loved and do love- and hopeful- that love is again, around the corner.

Don't Call Me Daddy

2007-10-03T12:58:00.000-07:00

Okay- so two guys "A" who is 27 and "C, the Brazilian" who is 28 are in active pursuit and of course Brody is appalled.
Brody- "What do you talk about with them?"
Stephen- "Shoes...Britney...stuff."
Brody- "It's ridiculous."
Stephen- "Yes, but fun."
Besides the obvious age difference- I have a certain mistrust for guys under 30. Wasn't there a phrase in the 60's- "Don't trust anyone over 30?" Now it's the reverse.
I WOULD LOVE someone closer to my age- they just don't seem to be hunting me these days.
Maybe they're all looking for someone younger.

And then there is "the New York boy"- who I met a few years back when I was directing "Queer Eye"- he's charming, smart- a player- and over 30.
Problem? He's been flirting with Brody AND me- at the same time.
Ugh. You definitely don't want to hear "Gosh, you're a better kisser than your son."
Wait,I just threw up a little in my mouth.

This says it all.....

2007-09-20T17:38:00.000-07:00

Brody...the wicked one...created this.

This is why I love Paris

2007-09-16T02:09:00.000-07:00

So my friend Mic and I are drunk...as usual and walking off the gigantic meal we just ate. This is the view from his street. Life is not fair.

And then, besides the men...there is the chocolate galette. Both delicious.

Travelling Man

2007-09-12T11:14:00.000-07:00

So in the last month- big changes. Went to Mexico to oversee "Paradise Hotel 2"- the new reality series for Fox Reality and MyNetworkTV that will air in March. Beautiful people- beautiful location- except for the hurricanes and earthquakes. Five men and six women stay in a hotel in Paradise- and can only stay if they are in a pair- so odd woman out. And then they bring in a man- and odd man out. It's crazy sexy- crazy evil. Great characters- a true guilty pleasure.
Other than the intense rainstorms- it was a good time.

Then I quit my job at Fox.

Time for new adventures.

So now I'm in Paris- studying French for a few weeks- until I return to LA- and the many possibilities that await. Do I produce more game shows? Do I go to work for a company that produces reality shows? Do I chase after my dream of working in drama?

Have spent the last few days helping my friend Mic secure an apartment in Paris- he's the one friend- living my dream. So we found something off the hook. On the river- amazing views of Notre Dame on one side and Hotel De Ville on the other- and the rest, river and sky. Why mommy why?

I'll get here. One day.

At the gym

2007-08-12T14:02:00.000-07:00

So yesterday...after a massage at Equinox and a steam (a room I NEVER enter)I caught the eye of a guy getting changing behind me. Nice guy. Cute. We smiled- I think I said "Hi" and that was it.
Then we saw each other again in the juice shop- and I invited him to sit down.
His opening line: "I saw you naked. You look cute."
It blew me away. I laughed a little too nervously and thanked him.
He asked for my card- I gave it to him and the address to the blog ("he might as well see what he's in for," I thought.)

As you get older- there is this transition point-say around 40, when you become the pursuer- and not the pursued.
So it was nice for a change to have someone so forward and flirty.

But with that comes the downside- absolute lack of control.
So here I am, like Patsy Cline- waiting for the man to call.
God!

And now a message from our sponsors

2007-07-26T11:30:00.001-07:00

Sign me up

2007-07-23T19:22:00.001-07:00

This is a sign from a train station in England...lucky buggers.

Giving gays and furries everywhere a bad name

2007-07-23T17:16:00.000-07:00

But admittedly, a catchy tune.

I LOVE THIS!

2007-07-22T23:09:00.000-07:00

Just found this on "Famous Like Me"- I've played it like 7 times already tonight. Is it the song? Or the guy? You decide.

The difference between father and son

2007-07-22T22:27:00.000-07:00

So Brody went to the "red dress party" at Gold Coast last weekend...and I geeked out playing the Lord of the Rings online game. He met some interesting people...I met a level 23 elf who lives in Ontario and builds truck frames.
Before you think, "okay, what is wrong with this picture?" remember, we are both still single. Ha!

Yahoo! Personals

2007-07-16T00:30:00.000-07:00

So I had dinner with an old friend- Will, who told me he had gone on Yahoo Personals and had met some nice people. So I pop on and post a pic and profile...and then fill out the endless criteria for what I'm looking for.
And a list of 300 or so guys come up...
I tried again, being a little more discerning...like limiting height and weight and age.
And one of the guys who is my match...is my brother in law. Brody's uncle.

I love the guy...but that's a little too bizarre. Needless to say, I deleted my profile. LOL.

The Abbey

2007-07-16T00:27:00.000-07:00

So Brody and I go to the Abbey last Sunday. We spot a cute guy across the way (we thought he was a magazine editor...or so someone told us). So we go over to talk to him...and I'm smitten. Brody, less so. This guy, let's call him Brian, is a marketing director for a real estate firm- has a house on Fire Island- smart, cute...and in town for one night.
I give him my card...
He gives Brody his card.
Ugh.
Brody is no longer allowed to be my wingman.

The last month

2007-07-05T18:02:00.000-07:00

So where to begin? Went to Paris for my birthday at the end of May- amazing. Great time. Barry and Gary and Mic were there. Kissed a cute boy from Atlanta that night. Came back- spent two days at work and then flew to upstate New York to Colgate for a Thirteen Reunion- 65 years of guys singing a cappella. So AS IF I were 18 again- I'm staying up all night, drinking and singing.
It was very rah-rah, pseudo-Ivy stuff. Khakis and top-siders and phrases like "When I was in the group..." but great to sing again.
Last weekend I flew back up to Upstate New York- and drove up to the summer house in the Thousand Islands. We have a house on an island in the middle of the St. Lawrence River- it's been in the family for 55 years. The house- as we're reminded constantly, is over 100 years old- a wooden Victorian cottage- and beautiful, but needs work and love- constantly....like a boyfriend.
Good to be with the family- and reconnect with them. Went out to the spot where my parents' ashes were spread- at a point at the end of the island- and said "hello."
Dad's been gone over 7 years- and Mom- 16 years. Doesn't seem real. They've missed so much.
More later...of course, I signed up for Twitter...so updates will be up to the minute. Be afraid, be very afraid.

Brody's birthday

2007-05-20T20:24:00.000-07:00

Forgive the delay. Brody turned 24. It was momentous. It was expensive. And of course, I bought him the same damned Ipod his mother got him. It's amazing to think that this young man...is my son. I went to an event he coordinated the other night for "House of Campari"- and overheard so many people exclaiming how wonderful he was...All in all, I'm pretty damn lucky.

This woman is amazing!!!!

2007-04-19T16:50:00.000-07:00

You have to watch the entire thing....one moment after another will amaze you.

Palm Springs White Party

2007-04-10T15:55:00.000-07:00

Brody and me...at the White Party Tea Dance.

So Palm Springs was amazing- after not having been there for 3 years. Saw lots of familiar faces- out at Hunters and Toucans and El Mirasol (probably the best Mexican restaurant around).

Mark and I checked into the Las Palmas Hotel...a smallish place on Palm Canyon- and upon arriving, discovered that the pool was clothing optional. Surprise surprise... Some things are better left to the imagination.

We danced every night- at the bars, while Brody went to the White Party events- the Military Ball and the White Party. Of course, he got a free ticket to the events. Ah, to be 23.

Brody in White Party Prep

Brody and his friend Lani in Glam White Party Drag.
What's a father to do?

I had to shell out the $100 plus food and drink tickets to go to the Sunday Tea Dance. But it was a good time... red bulls and dancing. Mark got LOTS of attention from some San Diego boys.
As I mentioned to a friend...there was lots to SEE and DO at the party. One guy, Nordic, bearded- the most handsome guy there- in a sea of pretty boys.

We also saw David and Ken in their house on the windy side of Palm Springs- and met David's family who was visiting for the week. Awesome people. Something about six kids all running around the house- puts life in perspective.

Mark and I also hung out with "B"- an Indianapolis bank president....LOL and his cohort Tony.
Tony told us the story about a guy he was flirting with at Hunters. Seems Tony asked the guy, "If I were to have plastic surgery, what should I have done?" The guy responded- "Have your mouth sewn shut."
Hysterical.

So we flirted with tall guys named Trent...and drank and danced...and drove home late on Sunday night. All good.

Until I got home to the hundreds of boxes that still needed to be unpacked from my move.

When I was little, I thought that I had magical powers- just like Samantha on "Bewitched," or Jeannie on "I Dream of Jeannie." All I needed to do was figure out what part of my body to twitch to get the magic to happen. Hours spent as a child working on this.

Still wish I could figure it out.
And then those boxes would fly...

Starbucks is great

2007-04-05T11:30:00.000-07:00

Because when they ask you for your name...you can suddenly be anyone.
I have a friend who says his name is "Brando."
I tell them my name is "Essen"-
they always look at me in an odd way and I
end up having to spell it for them.
E-S-S-E-N

Of course, the lie has to be maintained.
One day I went into the local Starbucks and the
gal behind the counter said "Good morning Essen."
I was dumbfounded.

And then I quickly replied..."Good morning."

I'm not generally crazy about Garrison Keillor but...

2007-04-05T11:12:00.000-07:00

Heard this poem on Writer's Almanac the other day...
and it made me smile. I realized as I looked around the boxes filling up the rooms in my new apartment- boxes filled with years and years of impulsive purchases- sweaters worn once- books never read- shoes that looked good but pinched too much to wear- artwork and furniture that somehow now defined me...that what we buy is many times a reflection of what we aspire to be rather than what we truly are.

Poem: "Unwise Purchases" by George Bilgere from Haywire. © Utah State University Press. . (buy now)

Unwise Purchases

They sit around the house

not doing much of anything: the boxed set

of the complete works of Verdi, unopened.

The complete Proust, unread:

The French-cut silk shirts

which hang like expensive ghosts in the closet

and make me look exactly

like the kind of middle-aged man

who would wear a French-cut silk shirt:

The reflector telescope I thought would unlock

the mysteries of the heavens

but which I only used once or twice

to try to find something heavenly

in the windows of the high-rise down the road,

and which now stares disconsolately at the ceiling

when it could be examining the Crab Nebula:

The 30-day course in Spanish

whose text I never opened,

whose dozen cassette tapes remain unplayed,

save for Tape One, where I never learned

whether the suave American

conversing with a sultry-sounding desk clerk

at a Madrid hotel about the possibility

of obtaining a room

actually managed to check in.

I like to think

that one thing led to another between them

and that by Tape Six or so

they're happily married

and raising a bilingual child in Seville or Terra Haute.

But I'll never know.

Suddenly I realizeI have constructed the perfect home

for a sexy, Spanish-speaking astronomer

who reads Proust while listening to Italian arias,

and I wonder if somewhere in this teeming city

there lives a woman with, say,

a fencing foil gathering dust in the corner

near her unused easel, a rainbow of oil paints

drying in their tubes

on the table where the violin

she bought on a whim

lies entombed in the permanent darkness

of its locked case

next to the abandoned chess set,

a woman who has always dreamed of becoming

the kind of woman the man I've always dreamed of becoming

has always dreamed of meeting.

And while the two of them discuss star clusters

and Cézanne, while they fence delicately

in Castilian Spanish to the strains of Rigoletto,

she and I will stand in the steamy kitchen,

fixing up a little risotto,

enjoying a modest cabernet,

while talking over a day so ordinary

as to seem miraculous.

What the hell?

2007-04-02T22:50:00.000-07:00

Found this online and thought it was hysterical.

Had dinner with Brody tonight...and we're both fighting colds and grumpy with people and work. A dynamic duo. I credited the full moon. Or the stress of moving. I have to drive back down to San Diego tomorrow night and get the last few things from the house there.

It's incredibly stressful to be surrounded by boxes and years of crap- that you have to put away, thinking to yourself that you'll be moving it all again in a year.

It's a sickness.

Looking forward to Palm Springs this weekend. Lots of friends down there: Barry, Gary, Mike, Chris, Dave....etc. Haven't really been there in two years, since selling the house...but that's another bitter story. LOL.

I'm road tripping with my friend Mark and staying at the Las Palmas Hotel. Won't come back until Monday morning because the damn hotel has a four night policy as it's White Party weekend.

OF course I'm bringing the dog, because I'm incredibly lame. I can hear myself now...."Wanna come back to my room? Don't mind the 90 pound beast." The partial truth is that there is nowhere I can leave him...and I feel bad that he's been so displaced...don't even have a dog-walker for him, so I have to come home every day at lunch.

Had dinner with Mark last night- and made the statement, surprisingly, that I was ready again to be in a relationship. I've been playing the monk now for a few years. It's nice to feel that I can rejoin polite society. And so back to dinner, Brody said he was thinking he didn't want to be in a relationship now...it was all too much. I know how he feels.

Below are more pics from the cruise. Videos coming soon.

On our balcony.

Me, Arturo and Kurt...at the last tea dance.

Boys at the 70's Disco Tea Dance. Probably the best party of the trip.

Brody and I talked about doing the Brazil, Argentina cruise next Spring. Will keep you posted.

An amazing time...

2007-03-22T17:21:00.000-07:00

And so we're back- the tan is fading. The cruise was amazing- great weather, new "friends", some old friends. Brody and I went on excursions every day- a zip line course, a grueling 7 hour hike up and down a dormant volcano, snorkeling and kayaking.

Dinners onboard were interesting. Most didn't believe we were father and son....they thought we were lovers...or I was the straight dad here on the cruise to support his gay son. Talk about the ultimate cock block. We set them straight....

And of course we had the talk about "no sock on the door." And Brody was all for it.

Then one night...I should have left the sock on the door- as my new "friend" and I were in a compromised state- as we heard the key in the door announcing Brody and his friend.

SO WRONG... in so many ways.

Getting to the cruise was a breeze- amazing nonstop flight- great seats. The trip home- not so great. Missed connections, no luggage and finally getting back to San Diego at 1am. Ugh.

Anyway- great pics below. We can't wait until the next one.

Uh huh, we know what you're looking at.

And there he sat...for hours right in front of me. So I slathered on more SPF30 and endured...Oh how I suffered.

Brody and the perpetual tan. People thought he was Hispanic- leading them to believe that I was NOT his father.

Brody getting ready for the White Party. We bought these crazy horrible pants in Curacao. Within an hour Brody had done a costume change.

Okay, check that...

2007-03-09T22:30:00.001-08:00

So, they make an announcement, asking for volunteers to give up their seats on the LA to Fort Lauderdale flight. They would rebook and give a $300 voucher. I'm thinking fast...and suggest to the gate agent that she could put us on the LA to San Juan non-stop....nice. So bye-bye seats and they close the door....and THEN I ask...what about our bags? Well they're on the flight to Fort Lauderdale. Hopefully they'll get to San Juan before us...or they'll get stuck in Lauderdale. Only problem is...there's no "NEXT FLIGHT" to get those bags to us before we get on the ship...and it steams away. And now I'm stressed...and eating potato chips (not on the diet) and blaming this Jack London quote I read this afternoon...while eating yes, another plate of chicken (on the diet). "I would rather be ashes than dust. I would rather that my spark should burn out in a brilliant blaze than it be stifled by dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not to exist."

Could I at least be a superb meteor...who has his luggage?

We're on our way!!

2007-03-09T21:13:00.000-08:00

At the airport leaving for Lauderdale and then San Juan for the cruise. Brody is on the phone...endless goodbyes. Both of us are very excited. More pics to come.

Dorian Gray- Phase Three

2007-02-24T13:04:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I went to get some pre-cancers taken off my face with a process called Photo Dynamic Therapy- the side benefits being it also gets rid of fine wrinkles and tiny veins as well as sunspots. It shrinks pores and gives you smoother, younger looking skin.

That last line in the brochure got me hooked.

The catch is, the treatment takes hours- the laser that zaps you is described as giving you moderate to severe pain. (more like a rubber band snap on your face) AND, the next day you have to stay indoors, with all curtains drawn and completely avoid sunlight.

So here I sit, like Miss Havisham, waiting for the sun to go down so I can get outside.

Overall, the process isn't so bad. The pic, from the next morning has me a little red- much like a sunburn- and the spots darker where I got zapped.

And that was phase three- phase two was the cut and color I got from Rex Salon earlier this week. Below is the next day photo- and the picture of me hidden in the attic!

Hilarious new blog

2007-02-19T00:01:00.000-08:00

Got a comment from the creator of "Famous Like Me"- so I checked out his site. He's got mug shots of guys in Boise. And some of them...are cute. Some of them...are not. Still, a brilliant idea. And good reading. Click on the link to the right and check it out.

The day after

2007-02-17T16:44:00.000-08:00

So the Restalyne was successful. It was a freaky, kind of frightening process. I kept thinking "what if this goes horribly wrong?" Dr. Keel at MDSpa in La Jolla was reassuring. And he's done this 100s of times- if not more. He numbed up my face- and then injected the Restalyne. And then he massaged it in. The whole process took twenty minutes.

I was a little sore for about 14 hours- iced the face every few hours, but I'm pretty happy with the results.

Below are pictures of before, 15 minutes afterwards and the day after. The puppet lines are gone.

And as I was sitting on the front porch- looking out at the sun over the ocean, painting my big toenail navy blue. Yes, blue.

I thought- "Jesus, am I in a midlife crisis?"
Am I J. Alfred Prufrock? I reread the T.S. Eliot poem- and posted a bit below.

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.

I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.

Prufrock is despondent- resigned.

I am not.
And thus the blue toe nail.
I do believe the mermaids will sing to me.

Gay men and the culture of youth

2007-02-15T10:40:00.000-08:00

Having a son has its benefits...having a gay son is even better. When we're out together, he can help seal the deal. A gay father and son is a great conversation starter with strangers. He's fun, energetic- and he pushes me to have fun too.

But having a child does have its drawbacks. He's a timepiece. Brody's 23. Most people do the math and realize I'm in my upper 40's- zeroing in on 50. There's no hedging.

And in this gay world, that doesn't play. Look at all the gay rags- they celebrate youth and looking young and playing young. It's messed up. It also doesn't help that I work in the entertainment business- a double whammy. There's no selling a show to MTV if you don't have that "youthful vibe."

And it's not that I want to date 26 year olds- although I did have two dates last week with guys in their twenties. It's a drag thinking they were born when I was graduating from college. Nice guys, both of them...

The thing is, aging doesn't suck. Looking older does.

I can't tell you how many of my friends wash the gray out of their hair. Last night in the gym, I was noticing how dull my hair looked and realized it was because of the gray. I used to "low light"- to get rid of some of the gray, but it's a pain in the ass- and takes forever- it's half a day at the salon. So should I get the gray out my temples?

We dress young- I've got the low riding jeans- the cool shirts. Then again, Brody was looking at some pictures from a recent party and noted how all the old guys were wearing bright colored wild shirts.

My best friend Gary and I joke all the time about getting "work" done- He wants to get rid of the bags under his eyes- I want to get rid of the wrinkles.

And so when I looked in the mirror the other day- I decided the time has come.

I'm going to try Restalyne- and get rid of the puppet lines on the sides of my mouth. It only lasts for four months...and if it works, great.

I don't think I'm trying to fool anyone else- just the guy in the mirror.

Casper plays Gay- Part Two

2007-01-31T00:44:00.000-08:00

This is is from a spread in this month's "Out" magazine. Casper and his wife Catherine Oxenberg star in the new series I'm producing for MyNetworkTV (Channel 13 in LA, Channel 9 in NY). Casper plays a gay assassin in "Watch Over Me"- a story about a love triangle (hot Marc Menard and Todd Cahoon with Dayanara Torres.) Both Casper and Catherine are probably the nicest people you'll ever run into. As a matter of fact- all of the stars on this show were amazing- giving lie to the thought that all actors are crazy and flakes.

Brody

2007-01-30T00:28:00.000-08:00

So Brody leaves most of the nasty comments on the blog..."Uh, hello, you gonna post?" Brody doesn't have the demanding job his father does.

He has time to take pictures of himself in his new apartment in West Hollywood.
He has time to date a thousand guys. He has time to go out every night.

He's also 23.

We had lunch the other day- and talked about dating...and how excited we are about the cruise. We have a great time together. In many ways, he is the perfect wingman. These two guys (well one guy unbeknownst to his lover) were working me at RAIDD in Paris- and Brody was just urging this guy on. They were from Dublin...and I would have gone home with the one- if it were not for the older, very protective lover. So when "Kevin" asked me to come home with them, I declined. I don't need the drama. And sure, I haven't gotten laid....in a LONG time, but I can certainly wait a bit longer. Well not THAT much longer.

Damn, this work thing has me tied down

2007-01-30T00:12:00.000-08:00

Thought for the day- found this somewhere on the net- my bad for not properly crediting it, but it's hysterical. Who says language is universal?

So I haven't been able to post...keep thinking that Sundays will be the day of rest, reflection and THE day to get on this thing. Ah, no.

Last night, I threw a wrap party for two of our new shows that will premiere in March- "American Heiress" and "Saints and Sinners." Lots of booze- lots of beautiful people. And I cooked dinner for all 200 of them. Crazy. But good.

Both are great shows- for MyNetworkTV- Channel 13 in LA, Channel 9 in New York. Lots of hot guys, lots of great drama. Like Dynasty on speed.

Right now, "Wicked Wicked Games" with Tatum O'Neal and "Watch Over Me" with Casper van Dien and Catherine Oxenberg- are playing. They're great shows...problem is, no one knows they're on...five nights a week.

I love my job. Don't get me wrong...it's just I'm on call 24/7- and it's tough to have a social life- or ANY life outside of work. Getting to the gym (remember I have that Atlantis cruise in March) is supposed to be the big priority...but I didn't even get out of work until 10pm tonight and fielded three phone calls on the way home. I know. bitch, bitch, bitch.

I finally downloaded some pics from Christmas vacation of Barry, Gary and Mic- in Prague.

Damn we're old sea hags.

Happy New Year

2007-01-04T15:45:00.000-08:00

Brody sent me an email- "If you have a blog- you have to post more often." Okay he's right. I was waiting to find my cord to download the photos from my camera.

So New Year's Eve- on a bridge over the Seine with my family and hundreds of foreigners- most of them NOT French- drinking champagne. Lovely, romantic, perfect for 2007. Last year we did the same thing, but I was in such a foul mood- and the mood paid off in spades throughout the year. My sister and her two daughters, Brigid and Brody and Zack- lovely.

It took 24 hours door to door to get home. As we were going through customs in Dallas, one of the guards said "Welcome Home" to those of us returning. I would have rather been in Paris.

And now- back to work- and the daily slog.

But tonight 13 college guys are staying at the house- they're the current version of the a capella group I belonged to at Colgate. Should be...interesting.

Merry Christmas from Paris!!!

2006-12-25T01:02:00.000-08:00

So far...what a trip. Spent the first few days in Prague. And although pretty, I was underwhelmed. Too many tourists, the buildings and statues needed good scrubbings- and at night, felt very unsafe.
Four of us were walking- trying to find "Friends" bar, which was described as the most popular bar in Prague...God help us if it is, because it was TRAGIC...and so anyway, we're walking and we keep getting accosted by these very big rough and tumble Eastern European men trying to get us to go into the tit bars and sex clubs. IT was NOT like Paris.
And so, while I appreciated the history and the architecture and art- I wanted out- fast. I figure, if I have two weeks vacation, I might as well spend it in the place I love.

So- we flew to Paris on the 21st and honestly, I relaxed for the first time in days- spoiled child that I am.

Mic and I are in one apartment and Chris, Gary and Barry are in another- just blocks away. Barry's not really the party boy when Gary's around- so the four of us went to Raidd Bar- where the boys dance in the showers- and one boy- showed it all...and then peed on the glass. Crazy stuff. And then we went to Le Deep. No, not Le Depot- which some of you know of- but it's tragic, smaller, darker relative on the bank of the Seine.

And of course I found love- or a reasonable facsimile- in a husky Parisian named Philipe. Small wonder. I'm trying to work someone and Gary, Mic and Chris come roaring by, giggling, talking loudly...crazy. So Philipe wants to hook up and so do I because he's crazy hot and I'm about to go out of my skin...but Mic wants to go home- and he forgot his keys. Mic gets lost going around the corner- (he was lost for an hour and a half the other day just blocks from the apartment) and he's insistent and drunk. And of course I don't know the code to the building so I can't get in. I just have the scan key to open the door.

And I'm thinking "You've got to be kidding me. "

This is the first guy I've kissed....in a YEAR! A whole year! I've had to throw out condoms recently because they've expired for God's sake! And now I have to go home? So I dig in my pocket for a card- and give it to Phillipe. And I take Mic home.

Of course Phillipe has not sent me an email.

So every time we go out now it's: "Hey Mic- got your keys?"

On the way to Paris!!!!

2006-12-16T13:36:00.000-08:00

So it's Saturday and I'm sitting in the American Airlines International Terminal at JFK- scrounging for a power outlet so the computer doesn't crash. It's ghetto at best. After getting up at the crack of hell to get to the airport, I slept most of the way to New York...after working at least an hour- on some ideas for my boss. Vacation...wha?

No such luck. I'm tied to the damn crackberry and computer- to make sure work continues while I'm gone.

Not all eyes weep for me. At least I'll be in Paris.

But first Prague.

Gary and Barry and Mic are already there...and have hopefully scouted the places to go- the places to play. I am ready for that. It's been a dry white season.

Sunday's Delight

2006-12-10T22:05:00.000-08:00

Ricardo Baldin- one of the Brazilian guys on "Terra-The Boy"

To see the "making of video" for his photoshoot, click on the link.

http://tv.terra.com.br/home.aspx?channel=580&play=1&contentid=146989

The end of an era

2006-12-07T17:22:00.000-08:00

This morning- a good friend, Charlie Colarusso, passed away. He was 72. He died on his birthday. His partner of over 40 years- Art, died four months ago- September 17th- on HIS birthday. He was 81. They were both friends of mine for the last 20 years- and loved one another- and all of their friends deeply.

For many of us, they were the model couple. In a world where we move from partner to partner- they stayed together and showed us that loving someone else- with undying passion and gentleness, was possible.

After Art died, Charlie slipped quickly into bad health. Art had always been the caretaker- and with him gone, Charlie felt that his rock, his anchor had been pulled from him. The truth was, Charlie couldn't live without Art.

And so, we go on...missing them and the light they brought to all of our lives.

Been there...done that. Well, thought about it anyway.

2006-12-06T11:37:00.000-08:00

Can't wait for Paris

2006-12-05T10:02:00.000-08:00

Two of the bars in the Marais....Open Cafe- filled with tourists...and sometimes hit and miss- although I spent every evening there a few years ago.

And Bar Raidd- hot, hot, hot. Boys in showers. Amazing bartenders- packed with boys.

Thought for the day

2006-12-04T23:14:00.000-08:00

A thought for the world weary....from Brody.

PARIS!!!!

2006-12-04T10:36:00.000-08:00

In less than two weeks we'll be in Prague...and then Paris. Freezing cold....but the most beautiful city on earth. Usually Gary, Barry and I get an apartment in the Marais- 75 Rue Vieille du Temple- but this year, we're splitting up and Mic and I are living in one apartment and Gary and Barry in another. Less stress with four people all over each other. And now we'll be on Ile St. Louis....glamorama.

Then Brody comes over with his mom...and familia.

15 Weeks until the cruise

2006-12-04T09:58:00.000-08:00

So Brody and I are going on the Atlantis Southern Caribbean cruise in March....and I'm in a body image panic. I've got this 47 year old body....that's been under-gymed for the last year. And NO ASS.

So I posted all these pictures on my closet doors and motivational sayings...."15 Weeks and Counting" "Have you gone to the gym today?" "Think before you eat."

And of course the pics of what I COULD be like...if I were 20 years younger and had the right genetic predisposition.

And I AM going to the gym. And I will not be shamed on that damn cruise. And I WILL get a butt.

The last Atlantis cruise I went on- about a year and a half ago was probably the best vacation ever. I went with my friend Phil from Laguna- he's known as "the Governor."

I brought about 5 books with me, thinking I'd be laying out on the deck reading most of the time. No....I was up until 5 am every night dancing. Here's a pic of me and Phil and a new friend who wanted to get his tongue pierced.